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Monday, September 26, 2011

Quiet Makes Loud Even Louder

You know what the biggest problem with having all of my kids in school for most of the day is?

The quiet.

Sure it's lovely while they are gone. But then they come home.

They always come home.

And I am grateful for this-- I really am. And I know I should be happy to hear all  of their little voices after so many hours of silence.

But I am not. Because there is suddenly all this talking at the same time--where before there was just my voice, in my head (mostly).  And the talking gets louder and louder so that one can be heard over the other. Until finally, there is much yelling. Accompanied by loud banging of cupboards and drawers being repeatedly open and shut in the frantic foraging for "something to eat." Which is always followed by a collective moan of, "there is nothing to eat in this house" as three underpriveleged girls stare at a pantry barren of the Hostess products they so wish I would buy.

Then there is the fighting. Oh, the fighting. Which magically disappears when they are gone. And is never missed. Which is followed by more yelling. Yelling of things like, "WILL YOU PLEASE JUST SIT DOWN AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK?" (That one is me).

The whole thing reminds me of the time my last baby was born and I brought her home after spending two days in the hospital where the only sounds I heard were the beeps of hospital thingermagigs and the soft voices of nurses as they woke me to push on my stomach in an attempt to get my uterus back to its old un-stretched-out-to-smithereens self. And I should have taken the opportunity to ask them, "but what of my bladder? Will it ever be the same?"

Now-- of course-- I know their answer. I knew it the first time I couldn't make it more than one hour in the car without needing a potty break.

But even then I knew what the answer would be if I asked if my boobs would ever be normal again: Only with a good doctor and a lot of money.

But I digress.

When I got home with that sweet baby who only cried occassionally-- and didn't talk or yell at all-- we were greeted by two excited little girls with excited little voices who wanted to climb on me and jump on the couch where I sat with the baby wondering how they had gotten so much louder in only two day's time. Every word they said bounced from one side of my head to the other, until my head was so full of words and noises bouncing and bumping into each other that I thought it would explode. And I begged my husband to take me back to the hospital and convince them I hadn't really checked out.

Turns out I had a spinal headache from the epidural, but at the time I thought it was from my kids. After a few days the pounding stopped.

But the loud?

That's only gotten worse.

13 comments:

Jill Campbell said...

Ha, ha, ha. Totally know what you're talking about.

Wonder Woman said...

Now I'm totally thinking of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas."

"And the noise! The noise, Noise, NOISE!!!!"

It's all so true.

I thought that I was prepared for motherhood. I think it's met my expectations, mostly, but I was not prepared for the complete lack of bladder control. Good bye, trampolines and bouncy aerobic exercise. Hello, Depends.

raelynbarclay said...

LOL, so my house! Except I have 4 boys so in addition to the yelling and fighting, the banging of doors and slamming of draws, I have chasing and sliding down the banister while the dog tries to keep up!

Now to shut off the internet and get some writing in before the noise descends upon me :)

Maggie said...

I think I say this more than anything else in my house "How far from you am I?...... Then why are you yelling?" My girls also are SUPER loud and I am enjoying the quiet while two of them are at school and two nap.

Angie Cothran said...

Were you at my house today? You might as well have been! I have three very loud kidos. Do you know what is worse than three kids is having two sisters visiting with 3 kids, 1 10 month old, and 1 set of 4 month old TWINS. I think I have a spinal headache :)

Melinda said...

I'm living that RIGHT THIS MOMENT. My house has been so quiet all day and since my girls have gotten home from school the noise has increasingly gotten louder and louder--my 3 year old is screaming his head off upstairs right now. Side note, when you come home from the hospital with your teeny tiny baby, don't your kids also look ridiculously HUGE?!

Jenny P. said...

At my house the term is circuit overload. When my kids hear me say it, they scatter. They know what's coming if they don't.

I'm always embarrassed to admit that one of the main reasons I keep having more children is because it guarantees me a two day vacation in the hospital where I can sleep all I want, not wipe any butts (not even my own if I don't want to) and put NO ONE to bed.

Melanie Stanford said...

I so know what you're talking about. Even though I still have two at home, when the other two get home the volume goes up ten notches or more.

Alyssa said...

I feel bad because I am excited to see my kids for about the first 5 minutes and then I lose my cool. You would think the quiet of the day would make me a better mom when they get home. It doesn't.

I am convinced the bladder control issue is a direct result of the painful pushing on the uterus. Nevermind the baby... it's the mean nurses.

Nadine Feldman said...

This was hysterical!

I was a single woman with no kids when I met my current husband. His kids were 17 at the time. After more than 40 years of quiet, the noise boggled my mind.

They're 23 now (twins), and it's still loud when they come home for a visit. I swear to God, they're still banging doors, and yelling down the stairs. I adore them, but yikes the noise!

Charlotte said...

Sometimes when my kids are all at school I just sit and listen to ... nothing. It is divine. And it turns out I am capable of finishing a thought (as long as their isn't a loud interruption every half second.

Melanie Jacobson said...

I wish I could send individual emails to all these people now laughing at your blog to say, "I told you so!"

But that would be so unclassy. Not like saying it here in your comment box.

Enjoy Birth said...

Ah yes, the noise. It is so loud and non-stop. T3 has been saying, "Where is my cone of silence?" I reply, "I don't know, but if you find it, give it to ME!"