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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

A Meme About Me.

So you've seen these meme things, right? Like this one:

I am a mother | what society thinks I do what my mother thinks I do what my husband thinks I do what I think I do what I really want to do what I really do mothers day

I don't know where they came from or why they're here or what meme even means, but I'm about to make one of my own. Except it won't look like a meme. Because I really don't know how to work that kind of magic.

The thing that inspired me to make my own is the fact that no fewer than five people have asked me to take them shopping over the past few months. I even got to do a second round of What Not to Wear on my friend Sheridan, though I did not push the bra issue this time. We just found stuff that worked without one. That's how good I am.

So I got to thinking, what am I doing herding cats? Clearly my real talent lies in shopping. Particularly when I can spend other people's money. So why not make that my career?

Then my eleven year old asked if she and her friend could do a make-over on me. Because, in her words  "they could make me look cute." And when I told her people were always asking me to do make-overs on them because they already think I dress cute, she laughed. For a really impolite amount of time. And this is the girl who-- up until six months ago when I hid them--will pair anything with black soccer shorts. Sparkly red top? You bet. Blue polo shirt? Of course. Floral patterned blouse? Why not.

This same girl who, on more than one occassion--namely, mornings-- has shouted at me, "Why do you care so much about things matching!" when I've gently suggested that perhaps a satiny magenta top is not the best choice when wearing yellow sweat pants. The same girl who can barely handle trying on one thing in a store before she's begging to go home.

And yet, she thinks I can't dress myself. Hmm. I guess it's all about perspective.

So, without further ado, here is my sad attempt at a meme...


What My Friends Think I Wear

What My 11 Year Old Thinks I Wear
What My Husband Wishes I Would Wear
(nothing, get it?)
What I Wish I Could Wear


What I Think I Wear

What I Actually Wore Four Out of Seven Days Last Week.
When I Wasn't Wearing My Yoga Pants.
And Sometimes I Switched Sweatshirts.
And No I Don't Do Laundry Every Day.
More Like Once A Week.
But There Was Less Of It This Week.
But These Sweatpants Were Pretty Dirty By Then.
They're Clean Now Though.
And Back On.