1. Acoustic Songs: A song that can be used to sell fast food will not suck any less if "unplugged" (I'm looking at you, I'll Melt With You).
2. Short Shorts: These are the rules for wearing them... Don't. Odds are you look more like this:
Than this:
Because guess what...you're not airbrushed.
3. Little Boys: After three days of hands-on research that included an entire box of angel hair pasta strewn throughout my kitchen, family room, and dining room, I have come to the conclusion that two little boys between the ages of two and three are easier than one preteen girl.
4. Home School: Home schooling requires a lot of schooling at home. (Warning: If you're tempted to comment here about all the fun "field trips" home schoolers can go on, please review the rules for wearing short shorts. They apply here also).
5. Bra Etiquette: Missed my post on it? Read it, learn it, live it, and avoid becoming this woman:
Or, worse, this woman, who I'm pretty sure is an anorexic hooker even though I saw her eat pizza and did not see her engage in any illegal activity, although this bra infraction bordered on indecent exposure:
Let this be a warning that it's but a short descent from tacky bra strap exposure
to internet accusations by strangers concerning your.eating habits and chosen line of profession.
8 comments:
See? I need My Brittany to tell me what to do. Also, re #3? Yes. My boy was SO easy. Still so easy. (*favorite line? "but a short descent" - brilliant.)
My daughter was given a padded bra at age 9 (flat as a board & looked 6) & shown how to wear it with tank tops so the cute straps show. That was White Trash Lesson #73 from StepMonster.
My proudest moment working retail: we got a shipment of short shorts in four different colors, and I refused to put out anything over a size 8 on the selling floor. Sometimes you have to save people from themselves.
Where did you get that picture of me? The first one, of course.
Oh, this was an enlightening post! It still amazes me that people dress this way.
Now I have to rethink my entire wardrobe :)
Sometimes I wonder why people even bother with clothes. The world might actually be LESS terrifying if people walked around naked.
You nailed it! What is with the bra thing? Seriously.
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