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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Wanted: New SAHM

That's it folks. I've decided to resign. Larsen Inc. will have to find a new CFO, chef, cleaning lady, driver, personal shopper, hairdresser, life coach, and drama queen.

Because, you see, rather than find a more effective method than nagging and yelling to get what I want, I'm just going to quit. Who needs that kind of stress anyway? The pay is terrible, the benefits often unnoticable. And don't even get me started on the hours. 24/7 with very few breaks.

So the next time you come to my house, just be warned, the following are likely to occur:  you will (1) get stuck to the floor after tripping over backpacks, shoes and underwear; (2) gasp at the lack of running water and electricity; (3) smell my bathrooms and realize the toilet is not actually supposed to be brown; (4) find my children--their hair tangled and bodies filthy-- trying to BBQ the dog (5) my husband desperately trying his hand at paying bills in order to get the magic lights and flushing toilets back (yeah, good luck without the computer)

Once you've taken all this in, look for my chaise lounge. There you will find me, flashlight in one hand, book in the other.

You'll have to take your complaints to someone else, though.

Because I'm not in charge anymore.

9 comments:

Maggie said...

Enjoy your new life. Hahaha. Don't we wish sometimes.

raelynbarclay said...

Now why didn't I think of that!

(And OMG that would SO be my house, LOL)

Myne Whitman said...

Such a funny post, but I do feel you :)

Melanie Jacobson said...

You've seen my house. Clearly, I adopted this strategy a looooong time ago.

Melinda said...

I'm sorry you're feeling like quitting, I want to know who hired me in the first place, I don't think they checked credentials or anything. Boy, they got ripped off.

Nadine Feldman said...

I've gone on strike a few times when I've felt unappreciated, but I never quit. Hmm... You may be on to something! Hilarious post.

Becca said...

Should I not be laughing? Because, um, I'm laughing.

Angela Cothran said...

I've quit before! I think there was a period where I didn't cook for six months--not kidding. If only it were that easy :)

Enjoy Birth said...

I will join you in that. Except then my children will be home all day, because how will they get to school if I don't take them?