A Rant for America

Okay, so I will be the first to admit I'm not openly patriotic. I mean, I do love America, but I don't find it necessary to cover my lawn with flags or station a giant blow-up elephant holding a Vote Republican sign in the middle of my yard. Mostly because I'd rather people didn't vote Republican and also because somebody else already did that and I draw the line at being unoriginal when it comes to tacky lawn decor.

I did wear red, white and blue to church on Sunday--on purpose--in honor of our country's birthday this week. So remember that before yelling "Brittany hates America!" after I tell you that I think we're in trouble here, folks. And not because of Obamacare. Nope. I don't think millions more Americans having access to health care is the thing that's going to bring down this great nation of ours.

No, that would be Katy Perry and porn for women.

Let's start with Katy Perry. I know, she's cute. And "weird" in the way only someone who has producers, handlers, promoters, costume designers, song writers, agents and changing hair colors can claim to be. Plus, I can't think of another performer "edgy" enough to include a line about PMS in one of her lyrics. P.M.S! Can you believe it?! And... AND! She's singing about a boy having PMS! That Katy Perry (shakes head and smiles), she's so crazy. No wonder millions of parents let their kids stay up past their bedtimes and go to the mid-night premier of her movie.

You know what else Katy Perry has been up to? If you got Parade magazine in your newspaper this past Sunday you do. She performed at New York's Fleet Week.

If you don't know what Fleet Week is (I'll admit, I didn't) you can look it up on Wikipedia. That's what Katy Perry did anyway. Here's a little excerpt from her interview:

Performing for the troops was special, Perry says. “It wasn’t just another show. It’s such a tradition, and it felt very vintagey,” she explains. “In the back of my mind, I was like, ‘Marilyn Monroe did this. Of course I want to be a part of that.’” Skilled as she is at working a crowd, she did her homework as well. “I Wikipediaed ‘Fleet Week’ because I wanted to know the history. I don’t want to look like a complete idiot.”

And that pretty much sums up why Katy Perry is emblematic of the decline of America. She can't take all the blame, of course. That falls on every person who thinks that doing his/her "homework" on a subject begins and ends with Wikipedia.

BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT GETS THINGS WRONG, RIGHT?  AND THAT ANYBODY CAN ADD TO THOSE ENTRIES? NOT JUST PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY KNOW THINGS.

Moving on...

You know what millions and millions of people--mostly the ones who give birth to and raise this nation's children--are reading?

If you guessed Pride and Prejudice, you're wrong. If you guessed Twilight, you're wrong again. If you guessed erotica or romantica, give yourself a pat on the back. Then wave good-bye to the dignity of women because ladies, we have sunk to the level of men when it comes to sex. (Not all men, just the ones who like porn. I know, there are a lot of those).

I've already ranted about this once, but it's an even bigger problem than I thought. According to Time magazine:

S & M has gone mainstream... [just] ask publishers of erotica and "romantica," which adds graphic, often S&M-tinged sex to traditional romance-novel formulas. These books have spiked sharply in popularity since Fifty Shades fever hit this spring, suggesting that for readers new to erotica, James' work isn't a one-off experiment but a gateway drug.

So basically, people are spending a lot of time reading for titillation as opposed to education. And that's my real problem with porn for women. There are SO many books with really beautiful words in them, but this is not what we're choosing to read. Millions of women in the world can't read because they're forbidden to or they couldn't afford or weren't allowed to go to school and never learned how to read. Yet in America women are choosing to read crap. Fellow American women listen...

FREEDOM DOES NOT COME FROM SAYING YES TO SOMETHING JUST BECAUSE WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO MAKE THAT CHOICE.

And if anyone can answer this for me, I'd appreciate it.

WHY WOULD ANYONE SPEND HOURS SLOGGING THROUGH BAD WRITING JUST TO FEEL ALL TINGLY DOWN THERE? WHY NOT JUST HAVE SEX? (If you 're married, of course. And only with your spouse). WOULDN'T THAT TAKE A LOT LESS TIME?

Just wondering. Sorry for yelling. I only do it because I think we can do better, America.

And if you think maybe I sound like an old prude, I did just celebrate my 39th birthday. So, I am, in fact, an old prude.

I only wish America was too. (But not in a burka wearing kind of way).

Happy (early) Birthday, America!

Love ya!